Bad, Bad Day

Yesterday, I had the day off from work to go to a funeral.  A friend of the family died suddenly from cancer.  Basically, he found out he had cancer and died four days later.  It was awful.  My mother in law and husband knew him a lot more than I did, but I still nearly cried more than once at the funeral.  It was a really sad day, and made me really introspective.  I did a lot of thinking about my mortality, and living life to it's fullest.  As Hubs says every time he has a drink "Marge, you only get one trip around this bitch".  It's true.  If anything, yesterday proved that to me.

We were at the funeral all day yesterday, since the mass was at Boston College, and the burial in Falmouth.  For those of you not from Massachusetts (or America) those places are two hours away from each other.  It was the longest funeral procession EVER.  I had thought I may be able to get some sewing done on my day off, but we didn't get home until about quarter of seven.  I was asleep in my favorite comfy chair, all wrapped up in my snuggie, by eight thirty.

I usually write my blog entries at work.  I have a whole scheme worked out so that no one will notice me doing it.  It's pretty sneaky.  I write the entry in my work email, then send it to my GMail.  I check that on my phone and copy all the text except for the confidentiality statement that my work email ads on (the joys of working in health care.  I then open Blog Press (my handy dandy Iphone blogging app) and paste all the text in, add pictures and post.  It's a lot of effort just to keep my boss from thinking that I'm not working (which she does anyways).  Today, I just had no ideas on what to post about all day.  I didn't work on any of my projects yesterday, so I knew I couldn't talk about that.  I considered talking about the funeral, but that just didn't feel right either.  I just didn't know.

Then, four thirty came, and my boss hit like a hurricane (Katrina force).  I really don't like the way that she talks to people, it's just so full of arrogance and attitude.  I realize she does this without knowing, but I just don't care.  Unfortunately though, I end up getting defensive, and then it's a full out argument.  Today, I had just had enough and said to her "I do not like being talked to like I am one of your children".   I wish I had a picture of how her eyes reacted.  I knew I had hit a nerve immediately.  Her eyes got big, real big, and black, and angry.  If she could have turned into a werewolf she would have.   After the eyes got big she responded to me "I am going to write you up for insubordination in two more seconds".  I answered only with "really? and a laugh. 

Insubordination.  What a joke.  Anyone that knows me should be laughing right now too.  I am the most non confrontational person ever.  I hate fighting, and get really shaky and tense when it comes to it.  I never say what I want to, cause I'm terrified.    Well, until I got this job.  I've gotten real ballsy with this lady, since I fight with her so much, which I find so unbelievable.  I know a few of the people I went to high school with read this blog, and they can attest to the fact that I was the furthest thing from a trouble maker possible.  I was, dreaded and awful but true, a goody - goody. 

Somehow, in this job that I have now, I've become insubordinate.  I've become someone who does not accept authority or follow rules.  Someone that needs to be discussed about with HR.  At first, I was mad, then disbelief, now I'm just excited.  My boss thinks I'm a troublemaker, a bad ass.  Weird, but cool.  I might wear a leather jacket to work tomorrow...that's what bad asses do right?