Thursday, June 10, 2010

Holy Sh*t Mother Nature!

My parents got Hubby a fancy alarm clock from the Sharper Image for Christmas.  It's supposed to wake you up with the "soothing" sounds of nature.  When we first got it we went to set it up and it didn't work.  Mom and Dad were notified, and the cell phone charger console thingy was setup, in place of the clock, on my nightstand.  The alarm clock was sent back to Maine and exchanged.  It returned to us around February (I think).  Since then it's been lost onto of the hope chest at the end of the bed, under a sea of dirty and clean clothes. 
In our apartment laundry is something that has kind of evaded us for most of the time we have lived in sin/married.  At our last apartment there wasn't exactly laundry in the building.  The machines were physically there, but they didn't work.  We would infrequently (very infrequently) go to the laundry mat and scrub a dub.  But, here, in the "new" apartment we have laundry downstairs.  Despite that fact, we seem to be just as lazy.  Dirty laundry piles up, and in an attempt to straighten up our act and function like real adults we will do it.  Will we put it away?  Hell no!   Recently, I've decided, if we are ever going to bring a child into the world, we need to first learn how to pick up after ourselves.  We need to consistently "act like adults".
Just a little back-story for you, but we are back at the alarm clock.  In an attempt to act like an adult, hubby put away his clothes on the hope chest and found the long lost alarm clock.  He decided it needed to be setup and utilized.  Since October (or September, I can't remember)  I had been using my iphone as an alarm.  The close proximity of the charging station thingy made it quite convenient.  I would set three of the most obnoxious sounding alarms I could find.  The first as 5:50am, the second at 6:00 and then 6:05.   One would think that it would be impossible to sleep through three alarms right?  WRONG?  I was constantly sleeping through the alarms, because after the first alarm I would grab the phone off the caddy and snuggle with it in bed (like it was a teddy bear).  Hubby sets up the nature alarm clock on top of my wardrobe, on the other side of the room.  So I have to get out of bed to turn it off. Great.
Monday is the inaugural day of waking up with nature.  I had picked a foghorn.  Imagine being in a boat on an ocean near a rocky hear a noise that says "stay the hell back from the rocky shore", that's the sound.   6:10 am comes on Monday, and the fog horn turns on. I wake up with a start, screaming "Holy Shit" and turn it off.  Crap....shower time.  Monday night we decide to change the sound.  This time hubby thinks that ocean noises might be nice.  No....not nice.  I basically thought the world was ending when I woke up Tuesday morning.  Last night, he says he's going to surprise me with the sound.  The surprise is that he didn't change it, and I woke up thinking that Armageddon was happening for the second day in a row.
All good stories end with a moral, Aesop would tell you this.  The moral of this story, nature is not relaxing, nature is damn scary.


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